posts r going haywired...

as in my posts r getting crappier n more n more no meaning...
not tt my posts hve any meanings to strt with...

my thoughts r hanging by a thread...
thr r too much to tink abt n too many things tt r needed to be completed...
why does heaven always hve to make sport of men...
it lets u hve all the time in the world when u dun need it
n takes back everything when u need it the most...
tests, pop quizzes, practicals, worksheets, HSK, speech day (trainings/rehearsals), NP activities, NCO TC... all coming within these few weeks, months...
i always tell myself to stay focused... but how often do i really do it?
i lack the courage, i lack the endurance, i lack the determination n i lack the strength...
who... can help me?

todae lessons were rather ok n interesting...
during recess i was lik trying to polish my very screwed boots...
on sat ct stepped on my right boot n under the sun during besurai parade... my boots totally lost the original shine (if thr is any...) n the foundation tio destroyed to some extent...
i was lik trying to polish the day be4 but apparently thr wasnt much use trying to do the almost impossible...
but maths... we r going into a new topic AGAIN...
which i AGAIN dun freaking understand...
during chem... i was lik alrdy damn tired liaoz...
sort of dozing off le...
ya apparently the cls seating plans got changed again...
ya but me zf n zy arent changing lolz...
meaning i m seating with zf for lik 2 terms? hahaz...
yeah since the lesson be4 assembly alrdy dozing off liaoz...
u could expect wat happened during assembly...
actually for more than half of assembly i was wide awake (its an achievement ok? i normally lik assembly juz strt then i sleep liaozzz... XP)
thought it was rather interesting learning other cultures n language during international friendship day...
aft sch still hve speech day goh training... spammed marching in lik almost all the positions...
then held in hormat... yeah i found out... i m weak... damn f**king weak can...
cant even hold in hormat for more than 25secs...
yeah aft the whole thing... i was lik soooooooo glad... my arms were aching... as in serious... but i guess all the others shld be the same ba...

i m rather glad i came into 3G...
i made a new cls of friends here...
friends which would be with u for life...
tis doesnt mean i would forget "Garcia"...
both r going to be things tt i will rmbr forever...
the times we had shared together...
lesson times which we studied together... secretly using our hp... half sleeping... niao-ing the teacher... can u rmbr? it wa damn fun...

sqd: for all the time tt we had been thru together.. i thank u frm the bottom of my heart...
u dun noe how much it meant to me...
time really travels fast... i remember frm we were still yr1, n all of us didnt even noe each other... so fast... too fast... it had alrdy been more than 2yrs now... we had our share of fun when we were in yr1, when we were in yr2, we were slowly expected to lead our juniors... n now as yr3s, our reponsibility is heavy... we hve to prepare to take over the whole unit... the fate of DHSNPCC would soon lie in our hands... the history we want to preserve, our standard we want to show... r we up to it? less than one month left to NCO TC... r we rdy? can we take up the challenge? or will we face defeat?
its all too late for us to surrender now... we made it thus far together n our story will nvr end here... it will mark a new page in DHSNPCC history... we did not come all the way here juz to fall only now... thr r so many things which we arent sure yet... rmbr u would always hve ppl behind u, a whole sqd of 30 ppl behind u...
could u still rmbr tt we strted off as a sqd of 38 ppl on the first day... first actual training... it became 33... by the time we were yr2 thr were only 31 left... n now 30... all those tt stayed/left us... will nvr be forgotten... they r still our sqdmates... part of our sqd...
one final word - thanks

outings - sqd? Garcia? Gigabites?
not 1 settled yet... sentosa, ecp, pasir ris park, etc... thr r lik so many places we can go together in Singapore... yet we couldnt even settle on any1? picnic, bowling, LAN, chalet... thr r also so many things which can be done... but yet again couldnt be settled

i noe tt some of u might tink tt my bedok reservoir run might be fake... u might tink how izzit possible tt everytime i juz keep improving n improving... n how can i hve imporved so much?!
but its not true... i had given up be4... i had failed be4... its a memory tt would stay with me...
however its true tt i always force myself to a extent which i wouldnt be able to take it...
tts wat which lets me improve...
if u c things in a diff view... wat gd would it do to me if i lie to all of u? it would make me look gd? yeah... no doubt... showing how gd i m? whether tis is a lie or not... wait till i run my 2.4... the truth will come to light then... the fact will be obvious... if i m lying abt my timing... it could be seen n found out easily...

ME/仲贤...
something in my mind urges me to go forward...
yet i m moving backwards... juz wat izzit tts on my mind?
sometimes i juz feel tt i dun even noe myself well...
no doubt tis is my body, my life, my choices...
but inevitably... all these r affected by the ppl, things, happenings arnd me...
my heart swells up even as i type this post...
some unimaginable, a unknown feeling which i m feeling now...
something in my mind tells me tt my life is not gonna be smooth sailing...