the run...

it doesnt mean tt with each try, u would get better...
tts not always the case... u might deprove... who noes...

yeah... i went for my run yesterday instead of todae cause i got some CIP thingy todae...
but it doesnt really make a difference does it?
it seems a rather nice weather, but not for running...
the sun was shinning hot n thr was totally no wind at all...
ya, i admit it... i was wrong... i juz found out todae...
some things tt are frm nature r beyond human control... ya wind was 1 of it...
i was running n running but thr wasnt any wind brushing across me...
only when the wind strted blowing tt i felt abit better...
n my pockets were empty todae...
my watch was my only companion this time...
n i decided tt i wore the wrong shirt... i actually wore 45th ann...
cotton, doesnt really work for runners... doesnt release much heat... all contained...
i strted off at the reservoir... tinking tt i wouldnt be able to beat my previous timing...
aft all i had a blocked nose they night be4 n my body was itching due to a rash in the morning...
wasnt confident about even being able to complete the run...
so it all went on rather well... i had a few landmarks which would boost my morale a little...
the white building, the construction site n damai sec sch...
i noe tt when i crossed the white building, i was more than half done...
the construction site? arnd one quarter more to go...
damai sec sch? real close... only a few more minutes to reach the end...
it was rather smooth sailing for me...
i saw a sign which say no feeding animals... i was lik tinking "fishes"? LOLZ
all the way till 15mins, i suddenly had a serious urge to vomit... (i had breakfast tis time... i woke early ^^) i wanted to give up n surrender... it was something in my heart tt willed me to go on...
sometimes during the run, i juz feel lik tripping n falling down on the ground, rolling over n laying dead...
at 16mins++ i reached damai... i knew at normal jogging speed... i would take AT LEAST another 5mins to reach... tt would be way off my timing...
at 17mins, i thought... might as well give everything i hve n sprint the last distance which was still quite far away... i saw a guy in black shirt in front of me jogging... he was arnd 200-400m ahead...
18mins, i strted sprinting n found out tt thr wasnt any strength left in me to sprint... it was more of a struggling sprint... as in it is faster than normal jogging but slower than sprinting n i was struggling alot juz to keep tt speed...
as my watch ticked to 19mins... i almost gave up hope... thr was still quite some distance between me n the finish... my speed was waivering n i could no longer keep it up...
a voice told me to carry on n not give up for the last small distance...
i continued with my staggering sprint... i got pass the guy in black... n reached whr i strted frm... n the tiing stopped
i was panting hard... n i laid on the exact same spot...
both of my arms were wet as if i juz washed my hands...
my forehead was hot as if i was running a high fever...
sweat on my hair "rained" on the floor
the exact same figure tt was formed aft i laid on the ground the last time formed when i got up...
as i walked towards the fountain (water cooler - water, but not cool), i was staggering with each step n almost fell... luckily the railing was thr for me to support myself...
my knees felt lik they couldnt support my weight...
the water was refreshing, though not cool... i tink the water is directly frm the reservoir aft purifying... thr was a sign "tis fountain is for public use, please do not misuse"...
how to misuse???
tt ended my fourth ACTUAL run...
6 weeks, i completed the first 2, third was poor weather, fourth in which i failed myself n these 2 weeks' runs... total 4 runs...
ok i noe tt for all of the runs i gave alot of small details... u all might be bored reading about all these post about my venture n runs... but for me each of these runs were a new beginning a new chapter for me...
it wasnt tt easy for me to complete each of the run... some caused me to pant real hard n really push myself...
so if u tink tt all of my these posts r crap... u can dun read it... i dun really mind... these r my own accomplishments... which i wanted to keep track of... so its ok if u c the same thing repeating over n over again...
anws, i hve yet to say my timing...
i hve once again broke my previous record by a little bit...
20mins 2secs... only a slight improvement... n it was due to me "sprinting" the last 2 mins...
thr r some things which cant be changed... feelings which cant be expressed... for me... i m going solo once more...
"when the going gets tough, the tough gets going" i m not saying tt i m tough, but wat i m trying to say here is tt no matter how hard the road in front of me might be, i will overcome it... its not about trying my best, but doing my best...

later gonna hve to do CIP thingy... hope tt its gonna be at least of some fun, a meaningful activity might not hve to be boring... we can find joy in things tt we r doing/gonna do, it all depends on self...

ok i m screwed... i hvent touched any of my many HW yet... gg liaoz... tmr reach home le still need to chiong out... i confirm cant finish 1... but i believe tt 天无绝人之路... i would be able to finish one de... if i do my best...

ending my post le
ME/仲贤...
tis is how i had led my life, n some things could never be changed no matter how much u try...
this is how u c things n its the truth... i m not gd... i suc n tts the cruel truth which i hve to face up to... the prob is with me n not u... sometimes i juz feel tt i m a gd for nth... 天生我才必有用, but wat m i supposed to do? i hve not been told/shown in any way... if thrs juz light in any whr... i would follow... but now complete darkness engulfs me...